AHhh last week!

I can't believe its my last week here in San Marcos... it has flown by so fast! And this week is going to be so stressful! Exams... ah what would we do without them! Well so I must say last night was simply amazing... I went to a Phil Vassar concert in Dallas... oh it was great.. did I mention it was only 10$... yes only that much! I was sooo impressed! Now I must go study for my upcoming exams... English.. thank you Mr. H., History.. thats a killer, and Math.. woo hoo! What a glorious Sunday this will be!!! I just can't wait oh I just can't wait!!!!!

Almost here!!

Soooo next week is Thanksgiving! Wow time has flown by and I can't believe we only have 3 weeks of school left...and that means total stress time for me.
1. Grades
2. Transfer stuff
3. Moving all of my crap
4. Signing into my new school and dealing with all of there admissions
5. New parking hassles
6. Studying more than I can sleep or eat.

now that I have listed all of these hassles that come with an ending semester.. let me tell you why. Grades, well its the same for everyone... you always want you grade higher and I tend to stress and procrastinate about everything and anything. So getting my grades where I want them to will be a whirlwind for me. All the transfer stuff and moving all of my crap... wow.. thats going to be a challenge and paper work can be a pain. I can't wait till all of that is over with. Four and five pretty much go along with two and three. Then number six...thats going to be the killer for me, studying until I drop for finals. I tend to stress out so much and freak out about tests... and these are college tests determine my grade and GPA ... oh gosh.. Im already stressing myself out by even writing about it.

Okay new subject... Thanksgiving.. a week away and all that food .. Im sure Im going to gain the "Freshman Fifteen" all in one day. I've done so well not to gain it and ... it's all going to go to crap when this day comes around. Wow. Crazy. ... how time flies!

Halloween!

Oh it's finally the weekend and Im going home! YAY! Im so excited because I get to see all of my friends and we are dressing up for Halloween and having a party on Saturday.. so much fun! Im so ready for this weekend.. this week went by really fast but then again really slow.. its crazy. And I can't believe that October is almost over, it seems like just last week it was the first week in October... CRAZY how time flies! So tomorrow I also get to go out to eat with my Mammy. (grandmother) for her birthday at this really nice place thats actually out in the boondocks ... haha! But thats exciting because I get to see my amazing family!!! Oh I hope this weekend rocks.. Im just a little nervous because the "ex" said he wants to see me.. we will see how that will go. Hmm.. life is so crazy its unbelieveable! But its fabulous and it should never be wasted!!!!!!!!

Pop UPs

So the most annoying thing in the world is one of the hardest things to get rid of. Pop-ups. How in the heck are you suppose to get rid of them? Don't as me.. I can't seem to figure that one out. They are everywhere! They won't go away and it drives me crazy!! I have 20 million ofthem one day and zero the next. They are like little nats that you can't get rid of in the summer time.. oh man the summer time... boy do I miss those days.!

things left un- said

Okay so.. heres my mixed opinions about things being left un-said. Well first off anything left un said will come out in the open eventually... no matter how long it takes, thats just a proven fact. But what if you have held back your feelings for this one person for so long and hid them because you were afraid to get hurt... and all the sudden he is leaving.. do you tell him or leave those feelings down in your heart forever so you won't screw up any kind of relationship that you have? Its a risk that everyone has to think about before taking.. am I willing to take it? Right now, hell no. I won't even go there to think about feelings or even push that subject because thats somthing thats untouchable. But some people are different ... they feel if you don't say what you feel, you could lose your chance forever.. and this is true. Then what if I do lose the chance forever and then the feeling of guilt and pain will stay with me forever... wow. Leaving things un-said could be a good thing that ends up bad or be a bad thing that ends up good. Its a lose, lose situation that ends up good... I guess as usual only time will tell.

Home

Okay so I figure I only have about a month till i go home and Im soooo ready! I miss home so much and it's going to be crazy this next month with everything I have to do! But I think that the choices that I make for the next month down here will be without no regrets! Im just so excited!!!

Sooo Fasssssst

So This semester has gone by really fast! October is almost over with and then we only have a month left... it's hard to believe how fast the year is already over and done with! But I can't wait! Here are my reasons:
1. CHRISTMAS!! oh the joy of Christmas... the lights, the pictures, the presents, the cold, the fooooood, the churches, the fake snow, and New Years Eve.... ah I love it all!

2. Thanksgiving... only one reason why I love Thanksgiving .. because of the wonderful food that seems to always come around this holiday... oh gosh Im making myself hungry talking about it!

3. Im moving home... Oh.. the joy in making myself happy is finally coming true.

4. A start of a new year and a new begining... I can start fresh and start all over if I want to!

Ahh A new year is almost here and I can't wait!!!!!!!

Concert

Okay so last night I attended the Roger Creager concert and it was a blast! It was so much fun but I did not realize how many drunk people attend these events until Roger stepped onto the stage.
Okay the purpose of the "X" on my hand is because Im a minor and I CAN'T DRINK ... so DON'T OFFER. It's really gross and annoying when men the age of 40 hit on you and try and get you anything you'd like from the bar.. when they are your FATHERS age. Yes sad but true this happened on many different occasions.
Then many wild people decided to get on top of others shoulders and throw their beer wround and make the rest of us wet. The night was enjoyable but I could of donw without the drunks. Some things people do when they are drunk just make me laugh

Goodbye

So this weekend was suppose to be my last with my brother Trey for 13 months because he was leaving on Monday for Iraq. Well my dad called me about two hours ago to inform me that his date was moved even further up and he will now be leaving tomorrow or Saturday. SO now instead of getting to spend time with him, on my way home this weekend Im going to stop at Killeen and tell him good-bye. He's already been to Iraq once so this time it's not as hard but it's still empty and scary. I wish he didn't have to go back, having him gone is like losing another brother all over again. Sometimes I think to myself ... they just keep leaving, although I know that Trey will be back because he made it through the first time and I have to have faith otherwise I won't be able to make it.
This is just not my semester..God keeps giving me these big hurdles that I have to jump and I just want to rest. But only 2 more months and I'll be going home and thats where I really belong. Im not convincing myself or giving up, I just know that San Marcos just isn't the place for me and I feel so much happier when Im home and with my family than down here.. by myself.

I hope that Trey can make it this time, because I don't think I can lose another brother and I don't want to.

Stress week...

This week is such a stressful week! History keeps coming and coming and not to mention last night I didn't sleep at all. I woke up every hour on the hour... it was crazy.

The good things that I do get to look forward to are 1. Im going home this weekend and the fair is going on!! Im so excited!!! 2. I got the One Tree Hill season 3... so finally something to distract me and take my mind off of everything!

Hm Im so ready to go home.

Calls and thoughts

Don't you hate it when you are in a perectly good deep sleep and then all of the sudden... ring ring!! Ahh! That happens all of the time now that Im away at college.. people love to call me in the middle of the night! I never sleep all the way through without waking up and my phone off the charger and by myside... and me wondering.. who called and and what did I say?

OH the annoying things..

But as for the whole school thing, I stayed here this weekend.. I didn't get to go home and it wasn't so bad. But now Im so ready to go home this next weekend. I know that Im finding myself but for me transfering home or closer to home next semester isn't a bad thing. Everyone believes that it's giving up or not giving TX State a try and I am, I have been, I just know that Im not at home down here and I don't feel good about myself and if I go home and make a life for myself outside of my parents home then I can start to feel better. Its all still up in the air now, I still have about another month to decide, Im still praying and I really believe that God wants me to do whats best for me and not just and try and please others this time.

Confused

So basically my life is spiraling downward right now and I feel like I can't catch my breath. Im so ready for tomorrow because I get to go home and see my mom and I can finally breath. My mom is the only person right now in my life that I can count on, I wish I lived at home. But on 62 more days and we start taking finals and then I get to transfer home... that is what I'm going to do. If I ever want to be happy and find myself again, I need to be somewhere where I can be myself and be happy again and it's not here.

Ahhh I hope I can make it 62 more days.... I know I can.. I just need to pray.

So ready but it's so far

Okay so Im pretty certian Im going to transfer closer to home next semester. Don't get me wrong I love San Marcos and I thought I would love Texas State.. but it's not what I thought at all. I miss my family, my boyfriend, and Im just homesick. I know it sounds crazy but I feel it in my heart that its the right thing to do and it will make me happy because I am not happy down here. Oh well.
So Texas lost to Ohio, I pretty much called that one because once you go on a winning streak ... I don't think it's possible to have it again the next season, as much as I want it for them.
Okay well I don't have that much else to say but for anyone who cares I'll keep you up-dated on the whole college thing!

Not Sure..

So this whole thing is very confusing... and I don't mean the blog. I mean my school situation. I am not enjoying life here in San Marcos, Im very homesick and I feel very deeply that if I change schools ..one that is more closer to my home town, Tyler, I will feel better. Oh but then when if I don't and I make another wrong decision.. ah! Life!